Apple Watch Diagnoses Dementia. Or Does It?

“Apple has been adding health features to its iPhone and smartwatch,” cnbc.com reports, “and is now working with Eli Lilly to see if data from the devices can help spot early signs of dementia.” One might argue that buying an Apple Watch at full retail would give researchers a heads-up that an owner was losing mental acuity. But no. We’re talking some serious science here . . .

The early-stage study took place over 12 weeks, and included both an 82-person healthy control group and 31 individuals with varying stages of cognitive decline and dementia. Those who participated were asked to avoid taking medications that might impact the results, and each received three Apple gadgets: an iPhone, Apple Watch and Beddit sleep tracker.

The authors found that people with symptoms of cognitive decline typed more slowly, typed less regularly and sent fewer text messages than healthy participants. They also have a greater reliance on support apps and are less inclined to fill out surveys. Still, the researchers said there are limitations to the study, which didn’t draw any long-term conclusions because more analysis is needed.

So the more and faster you use your data plan on your iPhone/Apple Watch, the happier you are to surrender your personal information to Skynet’s predecessors, the less likely you are to be demented. How . . . convenient.

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