Mr Jones Watches The Accurate XL

Mr Jones in perfect conditions

Remember you will die, The Accurate XL proclaims. Hang on. Why wear a watch that highlights your mortality when you can just look in the bathroom mirror? It’s a Memento Mori: an object that reminds you that life is finite. So you will carpe diem, be mindful AF and read Zen koans by candlelight. Question: is MJW’s The Accurate XL a good Memento Mori?

Well it’s not as good as a Memento Mori ring, T-shirt, shower curtain or area rug. Away from a staged photo set, the message conveyed by the watch’s hour and minute hands is basically unreadable. Blame the relatively tiny typeface –  it looks like nothing so much as an African ant trail. This on a self-proclaimed XL stainless steel timepiece, a 45mm piece of wrist furniture.

Mr Jones The Accurate XL legibility or lack thereof)

Legibility (or lack thereof) is also time sensitive. Fom 12 to 6, the morbid reminder’s upside down. The mirrored watch dial does nothing to help matters and plenty to make them worse. Viewing the watch at any angle other than straight down brings to mind Foreigner’s second studio album.

According to MJW’s website, the dial surface is reflective “so when you look at your wrist, you see yourself in the watch face. (This is so that there is no ambiguity about who the message is aimed at!)”

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put! Nor am I happy about looking up my nose every time I try to read the time. On the positive side, you can use The Accurate XL to signal a rescue plane, and the ex is delighted with her new wrist-borne makeup mirror.

Mr Jones The Accurate XL Miyota movement

The Accurate XL is powered by The Miyota Caliber 9015, spinning away beneath a clear, unadorned caseback (engraving available). The Japanese automatic clocks in at +/- 10 to 30 seconds per day. MJW defends the discrepancy between the watch’s name and its performanced by asserting that The Accurate XL is “accurate in a rather more fundamental sense than the traditional horological measures.” So that’s alright, then.

Mr Jones The Accurate XL thick

But not all light. No lume for you! Equally, the Accurate XL weighs-in at a not inconsiderable 3.6 ounces. It’s a virtual wedding cake of a watch, rising up 13mm. And just like that nuptial confection, the 5ATM watch isn’t suitable for diving, waterskiing or any other strenuous watersport. Hand washing, maybe. But then you wouldn’t want to dunk the MJW’s beautifully branded black leather band.

Mr Jones The Accurate XL facing reality

I wanted to like The Accurate XL. But it’s not a powerful reality check – it’s a joke T-shirt for your wrist. A T-shirt that’s not particularly good at being a T-shirt, whose joke grows old in five minutes.

I reckon life’s too short to buy a watch that tells you life’s too short, rather than a watch you’d be proud to leave to your family or friends when your time’s up. Like I said, I gave The Accurate XL to my ex. What does that tell you?

Model: Mr Jones The Accurate XL
Price: $395 Click here to purchase [TTAW does not make commission on links.]

SPECIFICATIONS:

Case: 45mm 316L stainless steel
Strap: 22mm leather, black with black stitching
Crystal: sapphire
Height (from lug to lug): 53mm
Thickness: 13mm
Weight: 3.6 ounces
Movement: Miyota 9015 automatic
Water resistance: 5ATM
Warranty: 12 months

RATINGS (out of five stars):

Design * * * * *
If you get the point, if you like the point, it’s five stars. If you just want to read the time, it’s a one.

Legibility *  
Nope.

Comfort * * *  
The Accurate XL is like a shiny, silky, silver tank on the wrist (turret and all). It tips the scales at 3.6 ounces but wears well, partial thanks to a handsome leather strap that really makes the grade.

Overall * * * 
I like the idea of a Memento Mori (reminder of mortality), but the reflective dial lacks legibility and visual oomph. Three stars for price, quality, customer service and shtick.

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