Rolex doesn’t hold a patent on the design of their Datejust 36 Oystersteel and yellow gold. Obviously. Otherwise, Timex would be up to its eyeballs in litigation. ‘Cause their new Waterbury Legacy Boyfriend 36 is a Timex Rolex Datejust 36 Oystersteel and yellow gold. In fact, if this watch was made in China – hang on. It is. Let’s try that again . . .
If this Timex Rolex was branded Rolex and U.S. Customs and Excise got a hold of a shipment there’s be an immediate call for a steamroller. Gold fluted bezel? Check. Five link gold and steel “Jubilee” bracelet? Check. Gold baton hands? Check. Rectangular indices marking the minutes? Check. It’s a fake Rolex!
No one’s going to mistake the quartz and faux gold watch for one of Geneva’s finest, right? It says Timex right there at the top (and on the caseback). The pretender’s dial offers a day/date window, as opposed to the Rolex’s date-only complication. And the real Rolex doesn’t announce its Chromalight, whereas the Timex Rolex proudly proclaims its Indiglo illumination.
Aside from a long list of technical specifications, price is the obvious difference between the two timepieces. The Rolex Datejust 36 costs $11,700. The Timex goes for a relatively insignificant $139. That’s less than the sales tax on the Rollie. Oh, and you can actually buy the Timex. A Rolex – any Rolex – is harder to get than a date with an Israeli supermodel (don’t ask me how I know).
All that’s left: Timex’s marketing mishegoss. Why call the watch the Boyfriend and then cross out the word “boyfriend” in the email come-on?
Is Timex sending us an ironic nod-and-a-wink, hinting that they know they shouldn’t use the term in our brave new world of gender fluidity and anything-goes sexual identification? This is, after all, the same Timex that sells watches on the basis of LGBTQ+ inclusivity.
“Perfect for any female in your life” the email subject bar promises. Here’s how Timex pitches their Rolex-a-like on its product page:
We’re honoring our 1854 roots as the Waterbury Clock Company and the strong women who created our earliest timepieces. A testament to their strength and our commitment to craftsmanship, this bold 36mm watch is built for everyday wear. The two-tone stainless-steel case and bracelet, gold-tone dial and a fluted gold-tone stainless-steel bezel, prove you don’t have to sacrifice beauty for strength.
Wait. What? The Timex Rolex is a feminist watch? That’s the dictionary definition of putting lipstick on a pig (is that piggist?). A transparent attempt to pander to – and avoid the wrath of – the PC gender police. An insult the intelligence of men and women alike.
And if any watch in Timex’s current catalogue honors the company’s history of simple, durable, affordable timepieces it’s their superb, American-made American Documents. Or the plain Jane Marlin Automatic. How about the Easy Reader? Whatever it is, it ain’t this.
You don’t need me to tell you there’s a world of qualitative difference between the Timex Rolex and an actual Rolex. So I’ll just offer this unsolicited advise to Timex: STAY IN YOUR LANE!
Timex remained in business for 167 years by sticking to its basic formula of mass market simplicity, durability and affordability. Maintaining a cohesive brand identity.
If Timex execs don’t think that straying from their core design principles to ape Rolex is a bad idea, a quick question: do you really want to share your legacy with Invicta?