Celebrity Watches Suck

If you’re a celebrity, the world is your Oyster. Alternatively, a $3m “one-of-a-kind Richard Mille RM 56-01 Tourbillon, decked out in green sapphire.” That’s according to hypebeast.com. dmarge.com pegs it at $2.5m. Truth be told, neither website gives a flying f*ck how much Jay-Z paid for his ugly ass watch. Or the fact that Shawn Carter probably paid zilch for “his” Mille. All the watch blogs care about is clicks and affiliate deals. That said . . .

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Strange Watches On Parade!

There is a saying about kinky sex: if you don’t understand it, it’s not for you. Just because you find something weird or abhorrent doesn’t mean it’s weird or abhorrent to someone else. In terms of horological tolerance, the struggle is real. There are strange watches that I find a bridge too far. Forgive me if I offend you with my selection and I’ll return the favor should you find these watches appealing . . .

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Limited Edition Watches – Scam?

I checked out the comments underneath Tudor’s most recent Instagram post. I learned that living near a Tudor boutique, having cash-in-hand and showing up on day one wasn’t enough to secure the all-new Black Bay Fifty-Eight Bronze. “I went to the Tudor boutique on the first day it came out,” cokepepsimillie writes. “I was the first one. The sales staff told me there’s a long list of people already called up to get on the list. It’s funny true that watch enthusiasts never get a chance to own anything.” Speaking of limited edition watches . . .

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Green Dial Nautilus – Peak Patek

WatchPro reports that Jomashop is selling a green dial Nautilus 5711-1A-014 for a “staggering” $363,600. The Nautilus in question is a boxfresh example from Patek’s 5711 farewell tour. The Last of the [Horological] Mohicans retails for $35k. Jomashop’s 10X flip so offended WatchPro’s Rob Corder that the industry rag’s sycophant-in-chief resorted to obscenity . . .

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