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Hello there and welcome to the second installment of Room For Squares. In this column, I’ll be screeching in Asperger-esque fashion regarding the merits and demerits of various expensive G-SHOCKs, with particular attention being paid to those timepieces which claim direct descent from the 1983 “square” DW5000-C.
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Welcome to Room For Squares, home to the G-SHOCK faithful. I’m your guide, Jack Baruth. Please turn your hymnals to page DW5000-C so that we can pray to Saint Kikuo Ibe, inventor of the “Triple 10” concept, the man who brought us The Original Square. But first, for those of you who are new to The Church of The Square, rest assured that ours is not a violent or exclusionary faith . . .
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Casio’s G-SHOCK brand makes some shockingly large, brutally ugly watches. Although the new G-SHOCK Analog-Digital GA2100-1A1 won’t give Jaeger LeCoultre Master Ultra Thin Moon owners a case of buyers’ remorse, the 11.8mm thin G-SHOCK is a big break from the brand’s gigantism. And sold out. Maybe that’s because . . .
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I’m no outdoorsman, but I know a guy. My guy says hydration is the key to outdoor survival. Not freezing to death is also a thing. After that, it’s all about getting someone to rescue you, or finding your own damn way to safety. A cell or sat phone works for the former. A watch with GPS location tracking for the latter. Great. But why do so many of these things have to be so ugly? Big and ugly . . .
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When it comes to questions of style, the horological media are a pretty tame bunch. Watch reviewers focus on two questions: does the timepiece fit under the sleeve of a dress shirt and can it be worn casually and at the office? Snore. There are far more important style issues to ponder: which watch works best at a sex club, drug deal or a police interview. Here are my recommendations . . .
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