Kardashian Rolex for the Crew, Biden Too!

 Kim and the Donald - Rolex for Kardashian

Keeping Up With the Kardashians finished shooting the final episode last Friday,” TMZ.com reports. “Kim (above), KourtneyKhloe and Kris surprised the crew of about 30 people with Rolex watches.” The price for the Kardashian Rolex being bandied about: $300k. No pics of the Rollies have emerged, but plenty of Rolex enthusiasts are pissed that the K-team can secure 30 Rolex when they can’t even buy one. Was the Kardashian Rolex from the family famous for being famous better than cash? . . .

Abso-damn-lutelty! Assuming the Kardashian Rolex are boxfresh, the now-unemployed crew members can view their new timekeeper as a career enhancer or flip their Rollie. In a heartbeat. Thanks to the ongoing shortage, they’ll get more for their Rolex than its retail value. If the Kardashian’s Machiavellian matriarch had the crew’s Swiss timekeepers engraved with some kind of brand-specific thanks, KA-CHING!

Kim Kardashian Rolex

The Rollies were doled out on the 8th. I’ve yet to see one on eBay. Maybe they’ll appear at a big name auction house. Or at an LA pawn shop, and then an auction house. What are the odds of a fake KUWTK-engraved Rolex hitting the market? About the same as someone committing suicide because they can no longer live vicariously through a TV show launched on the back of a deliberately leaked sex tape. So not zero.

You may notice that the man sitting next to Ms. Kardashian – with a smile that’s the dictionary definition of rictus – isn’t Joe Biden. For those of you reading this blog in the distant future, the seated smiler’s another reality TV star by the name of Donald Trump, equally partial to the Rolex watch brand. (The Rolex Presidential, ‘natch.)

Joe Biden Rolex 2

News of our time: Mr. Trump’s electoral successor has joined his predecessor in the Rolex owners club. We profiled Joltin’ Joe’s OMEGA Seamaster Diver previously, thinking that the plagiarist politician who declared his desire to [physically] beat the sh*t out of President Trump had cast his lot with the big O’s crosstown rival.

Biden’s new (?) Rolex Datejust puts paid to that theory, and raises questions about his psychology. Is he wearing a Rolex now because he no longer gives a damn about being seen as “a man of the people”? Was it a gift from his wife, the not-a-medical-doctor Doctor Biden, to reward him for achieving his career goal? Or did he misplace, mislay or otherwise forget his OMEGA?

Biden's Rolex closeup

“It’s a very ‘Joe Biden’ watch,” dmarge.com declares, “classy, not ostentatious from a well-respected brand.” Quick aside: the only non-ostentatious Rolex is either a vintage piece or the defunct Oyster Perpetual 39. OK, sure, Joe could have opted for a big ole Sub or GMT. But a Rolex is a Rolex is a Rolex. Know what I mean?

“Looks like America will have a watch nerd as their next Commander-in-Chief,” dmarge.com concludes. Forgetting that The Donald flashes a Vacheron (just as President Biden will forget his dog’s name Trump’s “America first” policies). I still like Senator Sanders’ Citizen Eco-Drive Riva, but I think a U.S. President should wear a watch that costs less than a “money for nothing and your national debt for free” COVID-19 check. You?

2 comments

  1. It’s hard to get upset about watches, even when worn by people I loathe, like Trump. The guy is a businessman from Queens. I don’t expect him to wear a Casio. Che wore a Rolex. Why not? It was the G-Shock of its day. Biden wants to wear a Rolex after winning the Presidency? If he is a watch guy (or even if he isn’t), I can’t imagine a more appropriate purchase to mark the occasion.

  2. America has this old anti-aristocratic notion that politicians should present themselves as egalitarian commoners even when they clearly are not. But trashy celebrities are almost required to flaunt garish status symbols.
    I want to joke that Joe was placed on the AD wait list in 2008 and his number was finally reached, but it’s pretty clear that clout removed all obstacles in both cases.

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