All the women on match.com claim they want a man with integrity, stability and a sense of humor. Do they? The women in my search are 45-years-old and up. Clearly, in their previous love life, they opted for attraction factors that have nothing to do with The Big Three. Which makes selecting a watch for the first date a bit of a conundrum. With that in mind, I’ve got some tips for for a first date watch, starting with which watches to avoid like the proverbial plague . . .
Smart Watch on a First Date? Hell No!
The vast majority of this website’s readers are traditional watch wearers. The chances that they’d wear a smart watch as a first date watch – or ever – are lower than a snake’s abdomen. But it bears mentioning: a smart watch on a date fails at the first hurdle. No woman wants to play second fiddle to your online life. She wants your full attention.
Some people think that wearing a smart watch on your first date tells her (note: I’m using ye olde hetrosexual template for this article) that you’re an important person. Connected! These people are narcissistic idiots. You’re not one of them, right? So remember to switch off your phone when meeting up and let’s move on.
Gold Watch on a First Date – Dumb!
You might think that wearing a watch that proclaims your financial security is a good idea; women want to know that their perspective partner isn’t a player or grifter. You and I know that plenty of men who wear gold, diamond-encrusted and gold diamond encrusted watches are in debt up to their eyeballs. Regardless, yes, some women will be impressed by a glinting gold Rolex.
These are not the kind of women with whom you want to have a relationship. Fun, maybe. Relationship? No. While it’s perfectly natural for a woman to want a financial secure male and five-star fun, and she will ask about your job with an eye to your net worth and earning potential, life is full of twists and turns. Any woman who puts money at the top of her list is a woman who’ll walk should the wolf knock at your door.
Cheap Watch – Nope!
I respect our man Klosoff’s predilection for inexpensive watches. At its core, traditional watch wearing is about wristing a machine that tells the time. Any watch with an analogue face that isn’t horrifically ugly, wildly inaccurate or or shoddily constructed gets the TTAW seal of approval. Timex Easy Reader? Bring it on! Just don’t bring it to your first date. Sure, your potential partner probably isn’t going to notice your cheap watch. But they might.
I know: arguing against a cheap watch seems to contradict the above stricture against gold watches. Plenty of billionaires and highly influential people wear a watch that snobs would call a disposable timepiece. But a first date would know this leviathans’ status before they sat down to a tomahawk (or paleo somethingorother), and you don’t want to come off as a penny pincher. Unless you’re a big wheel or couldn’t give a damn, an obviously cheap watch sends a bad signal.
Sports/Dive Watch – Meh
There’s financial fitness and fitness fitness. It would be a very special/old woman who’d want to be with a man who groans and stoops as he gets out of his chair. But the whole “I’m a sporty fit AF guy because I have a sporty/dive watch” idea is a bit, well, obvious. It’s like wearing athleisure clothes to prove you go to the gym.
Don’t get me wrong: you may be a sporty guy and live at the gym. But wearing a sporty/dive watch to prove you’re an action man puts too much emphasis on that aspect of your life. Not to put too fine a point on it, this genre of watch indicates that you care more about your image than your substance. It’s the horological equivalent of posting a profile pic with your shirt off.
Vintage First Date Watch – Maybe?
Unless you’re using Redbar to find your soul mate, I doubt your first date will recognize your vintage watch for what it is. And that’s fine. Wearing a vintage watch on a date is relaxing, reassuring experience. It helps you put your life in a larger context, reminding you that you’re looking for long lasting quality (assuming your are). I’m all for it.
The danger: you rabbit on about your treasured timepiece. Yes, you want a woman who supports or at least tolerates your watch thing. But let’s face it: watches are far from fascinating for [most] females. Watch her eyes glaze over as you discuss the history of the Valjoux 7750. See how she forces herself to look interested as she examines the fiddly metal bits through a transparent caseback (even if the watch has a tourbillon). Just sayin’.
Dress Watch – The Right First Date Watch!
Some say the slim three-handed dress watch is an endangered species. That will come as a surprise to Patek Philippe. While their $25k “entry level” white gold Calatrava is beyond the average watch enthusiast’s means, you can afford a nice dress watch – a timepiece that tells your date you appreciate quintessence (“the most perfect or typical example of a quality or class”) in all things.
Even though I don’t condone oxycodone abuse, I fully admit I’m an oxymoron. The way I see it, the best first date watch calls attention to itself by not calling attention to itself. It’s the same philosophy some men apply to suits: wear one that makes an impression of quality and class then disappears from the observer’s consciousness, so they focus on you. Not your suit.
In short, the first date watch shouldn’t be about your watch. It should be a watch that doesn’t distract your date. Said the man who’s been divorced twice.